Kids aren’t masters of communication; they learn new ways to associate with others in each stage of growth. What this means is that you can’t expect them to come to you with their problems. Younger kids may not understand what they’re feeling or have the right words to express their emotions. Older kids may not yet see the importance of talking things out and getting advice. So, what’s a parent to do? How can you know how your kids are faring if they won’t tell you?
Pay close attention to transitions. And no, we don’t only mean how your son or daughter is handling the divorce overall. We want you to attend to small details. Since the news of your separation, have you been finding it harder to get her up for school in the morning? Does he refuse to put away the video games and focus on his homework? Or, is your older child acting unlike himself and fathering his younger brother?
Transitions, even the small ones, can be difficult for everyone. But growing up is about learning to adapt, and if your child is acting out of the ordinary, it might be an outward manifestation of emotional upset. Your daughter needn’t tell you she is worried, you can probably see it in her eyes when she has trouble leaving for mommy’s house on Sunday night.
There is no need to scrutinize your child’s every move, but do be mindful of behavioral changes—you may get the very answers you’re looking for. If you have concerns, talk to your pediatrician. He or she can be a great resource.
To learn more, visit http://www.theintelligentdivorce.com/ .