What Children Can Teach Us About Prayer

Children know how to play. They also know how to pray.

A connection to the Divine comes naturally to children because they are open to the notion that they are not alone, and that there is a God in the universe that cares. Truth, be told, we adults can learn much about prayer by understanding our kids.

The human mind is a gift from God; a vehicle for the connection between us and our maker. Yet as we grow older and become encrusted with daily life and habituated to the miracle of existence, the mind serves to constrict that connection. It happens slowly to most of us.

Kids teach us to open up to life and to God. And that is what prayer is at its core: a call for the experience of a vital presence in one's life. When you feel distant from faith, it is difficult to evoke the experience of God by your side as you pray. When you have freed yourself up to your faith, there is a higher likelihood of a sense of the divine in your life.

Not all traditions require a living God in order to pray, and in these traditions (i.e. Quakers, Ethical Culture or Buddhists) prayer evokes a sense of being that quiets the mind in the midst of everyday chaos. But in the deistic faiths, the presence of the Divine can be quite personal and dear. In the midst of a divorce, an adult with a childlike openness can find herself transported to a place of reassurance and wisdom that is worth the effort.

How to Deal with Separation Anxiety

Divorce can kick off a number of disorders - Separation Anxiety Disorder is one of them. The signs and symptoms include fears that someone is going to kidnap a child or their parents, inability to stay in bed, intrusive nightmares, and difficulty settling down for sleep. Sometimes it can be so powerful that a child will refuse to go to school, they will get stomach aches that will prevent them from going to school, or they will force the school nurse to send them home.

This disorder usually runs in the family. Take a look to see if you or your spouse has any anxiety disorders running in your family backgrounds. Divorce is a breaking of trust for most children. They expected a family to continue forever and when it breaks some kids feel like the bottom has fallen out.

So don't be surprised if there's an increase in separation anxiety soon after mom or dad moves out. There is treatment for this issue and it includes supportive psychotherapy, reassurance, and occasionally, but not necessarily, medication. If a child is refusing to go to school, you have a serious problem on your hands that needs intervention. It's like falling off a horse - they longer you're off that horse or out of school the harder it is to get back into the swing of things.

In my experience, separation anxiety disorder is quite treatable, but it is something that parents often let go for too long. After a divorce, get help and take your own pulse as well - you don't need any extra anxiety during this time. Don't be too worried because your child should get better with a little bit of time and treatment.