The Intelligent Divorce Research Center

It is with a lot of excitement that we are announcing the creation of a new website for news and current research on divorce. We call it: The Intelligent Divorce Research Center. The site will have up to date information about the latest research on divorce. It will keep tabs on divorce in the news and will make its own news by conducting national surveys regarding divorce that may be of interest to the media and to the public at large. We plan to be up and running in April, 2011.

The Intelligent Divorce Research Center is a joint venture with Jill Brooke, who is a media personality, having worked for CNN, CBS and most recently, as a columnist for the Huffington Post section on divorce.

Taking Charge of Sleep: Part Four

For the final piece from the Taking Charge of Sleep series here are some great tips from the National Institutes of Health.

• Stick to a sleep schedule. Go to bed and wake up at the same time each day—even on the weekends.


• Avoid large meals and beverages late at night. A large meal can cause indigestion that interferes with sleep. Drinking too many fluids at night can cause you to awaken frequently to urinate.


• Avoid medicines that delay or disrupt your sleep, if possible. Some commonly prescribed heart, blood pressure, or asthma medications, as well as some over-the-counter and herbal remedies for coughs, colds, or allergies, can disrupt sleep patterns.


• Don’t take naps after 3 p.m. Naps can boost your brain power, but late afternoon naps can make it harder to fall asleep at night. Also, keep naps to under an hour.


• Have a good sleeping environment. Get rid of anything that might distract you from sleep, such as noises, bright lights, an uncomfortable bed, or a TV or computer in the bedroom. Also, keeping the temperature in your bedroom on the cool side can help you sleep better.


• Have the right sunlight exposure. Daylight is key to regulating daily sleep patterns. Try to get outside in natural sunlight for at least 30 minutes each day.


• Don’t lie in bed awake. If you find yourself still awake after staying in bed for more than 20 minutes, get up and do some relaxing activity until you feel sleepy. The anxiety of not being able to sleep can make it harder to fall asleep.


• See a doctor if you continue to have trouble sleeping. If you consistently find yourself feeling tired or not well rested during the day despite spending enough time in bed at night, you may have a sleep disorder. Your family doctor or a sleep specialist should be able to help you.

Local Event in Westchester, NY: Do You Want to Write a Book?(What You Need to Know)

The Katonah Study Group For Integrative Medicine

www.TheKatonahStudyGroup.org/

March 23, 2011

Katonah Library

7:00pm

$15 (unless you are a member)

Most people have a book in them, just waiting to come out. In this workshop you will learn the steps required to produce a really good book. Writing a book is one of the most joyful things to do, because it’s a creative act; but a good book requires more than inspiration, it also needs perspiration and organization.



The program will be interactive in nature, allowing for Q and A. And, since you may not want to do it all alone, we’ll be providing resources that could prove invaluable.

Who Should Come: Anyone itching to write a book, on any number of topics.

Guest Speakers:

Mark Banschick, MD: author of the The Intelligent Divorce series.

David Tabatsky: author/editor of many books from The Chicken Soup for the Soul - The Cancer Book, Children’s Letters to Obama and Marlo Thomas’ The Right Words at the Right Time.

Penny Cohen, MSW: author of Personal Kabbalah: 32 Paths to Inner Peace and Life Purpose

Workshop:

• Finding the Book Idea that is Inside of You


• Developing that Idea (and Table of Contents)


• The Book Proposal – What’s Involved


• Learning How to Write for Your Audience


• Getting the Help You Need (writing, editing or marketing)


• Getting Published

Membership Privileges

Fifty dollars lasts all year (Compare to 15 dollars a meeting at the door!)




Future Scheduled Dates:

April 27th, May 25th, June 22nd




For Directions consult our website: www.KatonahStudyGroup.org

Taking Charge of Sleep: Part Three

We all toss and turn when under stress. The mind loops around, again and again. Do I have the right lawyer? Will I have enough money to live? What is happening to my children? What if I get sick? Have you ever noticed that anxiety comes out at night, just before you go to sleep (or at least try to go to sleep). Bedtime is a vulnerable time for the soul and this anxiety can undermine how much sleep you get.

Sleep is required for all human beings. When we fail to get enough (7+ hours a night), you will feel tired, burnt out and more regressed. The brain needs to heal from all the stress of the day, and sleep was designed to aid in this healing.

Here are some pragmatic ways to ensure a better sleep:

• Physical and mental pain both interfere with sleep. Seek professional help when these problems inhibit your ability to get the rest you need.


• Exercise during the day. It relaxes the body and helps to work off excess tension.


• Before bedtime:
  
  
  
  • Take a warm bath.
  
  
  • Read a good book.
  
  
  • Drink warm, decaffeinated tea or warm milk.
  
  
  • Call someone with whom you’re close, like a parent or friend, to talk about your day.
  
  
  
  


• When it comes to sleep aids, melatonin, valerian root, or chamomile tea may help you.


• As a psychiatrist I am well aware of the use of pharmaceuticals in the treatment of sleeplessness. For the record, I am very cautious about using them for many reasons. That being said, they may be useful for some patients with life interfering sleeplessness. For example, low doses of Trazadone or an anti-psychotic mediation like Seroquel, can be helpful on a short term basis. The most commonly prescribed sleep agents are hypnotics, like Klonapin and Ativan, and non-hypnotics, like Lunesta and Ambien. See your doctor before pursuing any of these options.

Active Listening and Effective Communication: Part 1

Active Listening and Effective Communication

Active listening is a set of techniques designed to slow down hostility and anxiety in the present moment. It introduces something that’s often lost when a marriage falls apart—the willingness to respectfully listen to one another. Active listening defuses reactivity and ongoing power struggles. It includes joining, curiosity, mirroring, clarification, and two additional called “sticking to the problem at hand” and “ striking when the iron is cold”. Active listening presupposes that you feel safe and that your ex is open to compromise.

Joining- Joining occurs when you remind your ex that the two of you are “in this together” for the sake of the kids. In the heat of an argument, this statement can defuse the tension and get you back on track.



“Michael relax, I want to remind you that we’re in this together.”
“Rachel, I know you worry about the children. I do, too.”

By reinforcing the idea that the two of you are working together, it eliminates the potential power struggle and makes you equals in this difficult time. Sometimes this can be done as a concession in which you relinquish control of a situation, and other times it can be done as an assertion in which you bring yourself up to an equal level of power as your ex. Joining also helps to define the goals you both have, whether they be to reach a separation point or to make sure your kids come out of this process the best way they can.